10 Ways to Tell You are Raising a Little Bully

I’m pretty sure no one wants to think that their child is the class bully, but sometimes it’s hard to tell.  What makes a child a bully?  When do all of the excuses for his or her behavior add up to your child is being a bully?  Check out 10 ways to tell you are raising a little bully.

  1. Your child is always frustrated: Kids aren’t usually born being a bully.  Something in their environment has caused your child to bully other kids.  This ‘something’ is usually frustration.  What your child is frustrated about could be anything from doing poorly in school to struggling to fit in with the other kids.
  2. Loses temper easily: Do you feel like you have an angry child?  Do you have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid their outbursts or tantrums?  If it seems like it takes next to nothing to upset your child and make them really angry then you need to look into what is causing this anger.  Many times this anger stems from frustration.  It’s easier to be mad then to express the frustration.
  3. Bossy with siblings or friends: When your child is playing do you find that they are always bossing the other kids around telling everyone what games they will play and how they will play them?  Do the children seem to rebel against them?  How does your child react when the other kids won’t play with him/her?
  4. Lacks empathy: This is a very important clue that you need to get your child some help.  If you witness them being cruel to another living thing.  It doesn’t matter if it’s pulling wings off of butterflies or kicking the family dog in frustration.  Bullies often lack empathy for others and that is why it’s so easy for them to be mean to them.
  5. Thinks violence is cool: With all of the violent video games and movies that are around it’s kind of hard to get a definite clue from them alone, but if your child thinks it’s cool to shoot a gun or comments that it would be fun to be a super hero so they could bash everyone’s head in.  Comments that sound like they think violence is cool need to be addressed.
  6. Wants to be cool and fit in:  If your child struggles to fit in and they constantly ask for things to make them cool this may give you an indication that they are trying too hard.  They ask for the latest video game because everyone else has it.  Make sure that you let them know that they are special just as they are and that they don’t need ‘things’ to get people to like them.  People should like them for who they are.
  7. Gets in trouble for breaking the rules: Do you receive reports from the teacher that your child has trouble following the rules?  Do you constantly see marks on their folder that they broke the rules that day and got into trouble?  Bullies have trouble following the rules.
  8. Bigger than the other kids: This works mostly with boys, they tend to be physically bigger or taller than the other kids their age.  This size difference gives them the advantage of threatening other children into doing what they say.  If kids won’t do what they want voluntarily then they will threaten them into following their lead.  Other kids will act afraid of your child.
  9. Doesn’t have any friends: Most kids get invited to birthday parties pretty often.  At least a few times a year.  If your child never gets invited to a party that should be a red flag that there’s something going on.  Ask the teachers, does it seem like little Johnny gets along with the other kids?  Does he have friends?  If not, that’s another area of frustration for them.
  10. Parents complain to you: Parents at the park come up to you and nicely let you know that your child did something to their child.  The second time they may still be nice about it, but if it happens a third time they will probably leave the park or get upset with you for not stopping your child.  Do you hear from your child’s teacher that your child is disruptive and can’t keep their hands to themselves?  Usually you will get some sense that your child is not fitting in before you hear anything about them being a bully.

 

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